Cleaning Your House – Extreme Antics Edition
Cleaning the house… fun and exciting event, right? Well, unless you enjoy sweeping crud into little piles and moving the piles into dustpans, probably not. I have a few pointers to help bring your spring cleaning spree from the doldrums and rejuvenate any boring task.
What you’ll needed: One or two CO2 powered airsoft guns, some really ugly wool clothes, some awesome music that you love, a roll of packaging tape, a Roomba robotic vacuum, a kitten, catnip, cleaning solution, a laser pointer, a Komondor or other long-haired dog (optional), your grandma (also optional). (sorry granny)
♦ First of all: Get some epic music playing. Turn on the Inception or Pirates of the Caribbean soundtrack and get into a dust-killing mood. If soundtracks aren’t your forte, then play this. (It’ll make you wish you had the soundtracks.)
♦ Secondly: Get out your airsoft gun(s). These will be replacing the rags you would normally use for dusting. Make sure that there is no ammo in the guns. Now take your guns, aim them at any dust that’s residing on your furniture and fire away! The air from the gun will blow the dust right off of the furniture.
♦ Third: Now that you’ve dusted the hard surfaces, it’s time to move onto the cloth covered furniture. Take out your roll of tape and wrap some around your hand with (IMPORTANT) the sticky side out. (Don’t blame me if you get that backwards.) You now have a perfectly good hair and dust collector for cloth chairs and couches. Now start attacking your couch like you’re a ninja. (It helps here to have Eye of the Tiger playing.)
♦ Fourth: You’ve worked pretty hard so far, right? Now it’s time to sit back and have a little fun. Get your Roomba and your kitten. Cover the Roomba with double sided tape and then sprinkle catnip on it. Now release the kitten to attack the Roomba. Sit back and watch.
♦ Fifth: It’s now time to “sweep.” Get out those ugly wool clothes that you’ve always hated and call your grandma into the room. Put them on and do snow angels all over the floor. (This will do almost as good of a job as sweeping.) This serves two purposes, it cleans your floor and makes your grandma laugh. (As long as she didn’t get you the clothes.)
♦ Sixth: This part I’ve always wanted to try… Go fetch your long haired dog. Call Fluffy over and cover him/her with cleaning solution. (Make sure you get the natural stuff so that it doesn’t bother your pup.) Now get your laser pointer and have the little fellow chase it all over the floor. Make sure you get the corners.
There you go! Now go ahead and go get your music and guns and dogs and all of the other necessities, and… clean your house!
Happy Cleaning,
~XK
P.S. – Or you could hire a maid, but that’s not nearly as fun. 😉
XanthusKidd - A Recreational Read 
22 June , 2011 at 17:16
Hee hee! Some pretty fun ideas here. I’ve always wanted to attack my couch like a ninja!
22 June , 2011 at 17:21
Hmm, I don’t think blowing dust everywhere with an air-gun constitutes cleaning 😛
And besides the first thought I had, why are you thinking of new ways for your mother to clean (instead of you).
I have to admit, I enjoyed the dog mop idea the best (Comically speaking, of course).
Take care,
23 June , 2011 at 14:01
Well, for the record, this post wasn’t aimed at my mom. I would be perfectly happy to try these myself. 😉 And actually… the air gun dusting works, that’s why you do it before you sweep though.
22 June , 2011 at 17:47
Jajajaja that was great! I so would like to try the Roomba-catnip-cat point 😉
22 June , 2011 at 20:15
Haha nice! Almost anything can be more fun with a little creativity =)
23 June , 2011 at 14:58
Haah, nice tips here. fortunately, cleaning is one area where I don’t need much coaxing. Growing up my mother was a clean freak it rubbed off on me like nobody’s business. My area has to be spotless or I will cease to function. 😛
I see you mentioned Pirates here as a music suggestion. You may like this super special awesome remix of the Pirates theme, then: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cBcwmRznJgo&feature=channel_video_title Hows that for some cleaning music?
26 June , 2011 at 19:28
Why can’t my clean-freakedness rub off on people? If she’s got tips I’d love to know them!
26 June , 2011 at 20:40
That’s a pretty cool pirates remix! I was really surprised, I bought the Pirates 4 soundtrack and the last 7 songs in the album were techno remixes! 😀
26 June , 2011 at 19:33
#1 – I play the movie Mamma Mia LOUD.
#3 – Eye of the Tiger is my speed-ball boxing music.
#4 – What is a Roomba?
#6 – Hhahhaahaahaahaha. Very cool dog.
26 June , 2011 at 20:38
Haha, a Roomba is a robotic vacuum cleaner. See here:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Roomba