Fairies and Other Various Sundry

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The legendary and imaginary persons of yore. You’ve heard about them all your life. Santa Claus, The Easter Bunny, The Tooth Fairy… When you were younger you were told that they were real. Now that you’re older and wiser, you know they don’t exist. You’ve been through the education machine which has taught you to only believe in what is tangible and provable through the “scientific method.” Now those who believe in them are ridiculed and treated as crazy. Probably for good cause, anyone over the age of 13 who still believes that a big fat dude in a red suit brings him his Christmas presents probably needs to watch Mythbusters – Santa Claus Edition. Anyway, let’s discuss some of the lesser known creatures and fables.

♦ The Dust Bunnies – These harmless little fellows live under your beds, couches, and other furniture. They’re often confused with the products of their labor (many people think that the piles of dust are actually the bunnies) but we can soon disprove that. Quite under-appreciated, a lot of people really don’t like them. They are however, actually helpful creatures. The dust bunnies run around at night and collect all of the dust, pet hair, and other crud that has gathered and they sweep it all into little convenient piles.

♦ The Monsters Under Your Bed – Perhaps your parents used to comfort you about the monsters under your bed, or maybe they used them for threats, but at any rate, these monsters really aren’t understood. They’re very shy and hardly ever seen by human eyes. Realistically, these creatures are quite unintelligent. They hide under beds and in closets and rearrange everything that’s in order. Occasionally they move around boxes and steal shoes.

♦ The Sock Thief – A distant relative of the monsters under your bed, the sock thief is a much more malicious and malignant personality. This fellow takes delight in purloining anything that has a match. Socks, shoes, gloves… nothing is safe from his grasp. This mean creature can influence people’s minds and cause them to steal socks, as I have witnessed personally.

♦ Unicorns – Unicorns are one of the most popular and awesome of the mythical creatures discussed here. They are extremely shy, and tend to hide in unpopulated areas that contain large amounts of cotton candy and bad youtube characters. Friendly towards those who have gained their trust, they are very distrusting of strangers. I’ll quote my about page here: “As unicorns are mostly considered to be real (or at least ethical) by the majority of the lesser sciences, the confirmation of their existence is imminent. If you ever see a unicorn please do not approach it, they scare easily and have unstable temperaments.”

There are many more creatures that I could discuss: bed bugs, nyan cats, or the boogeyman. I’ll let them rest for now, and leave you to ponder their mysteries on your own. Oh, right… I promised you fairies…

♦ Fairies – You really think fairies exist? Please… next you’re going to tell me that you do believe in Santa Claus. If you hold such ridiculous beliefs please keep them to yourselves. We don’t need more people filling the internet with crazy ideas about make-believe creatures.

Have a Good One,

13 thoughts on “Fairies and Other Various Sundry

    Ian C - My Twist News said:
    20 June , 2011 at 16:13

    I used to believe in the laundry fairy.
    She would come into my room and remove all of the dirty clothes, then a few hours later I would find them again, neatly folded in my dresser. I stopped believing in her about the same time I left home.

    As far as all of the other creatures you mention, I have stopped believing or had their existance disproved to me.

      xanthuskidd responded:
      20 June , 2011 at 18:42

      I don’t believe the laundry fairy ever graced my presence. I awoke to the harsh reality of washing machines and clothes lines at a very young age.

    timethief said:
    20 June , 2011 at 16:26

    I’m so disappointed that you left out Tinkerbell. 😦 I believed in her and the others until I was about 3 years old coming 4. Of course, I would never admit that I still believe unicorns live in the forest … lol 😀

    Libby said:
    20 June , 2011 at 17:28

    Ach, mah wee mon. Haven’a ye ever hear of the little people that coom oot every cold night and sprinkle magic diamonds on the grass that disappear when the sun touches them?

      xanthuskidd responded:
      20 June , 2011 at 18:44

      Oh deary me, it appears I have made a grave error in me writin’. Tha leprechauns and tinkerbells ‘ave been sorely neglected, perhaps some future post will see them mentioned then.

    timethief said:
    20 June , 2011 at 17:38

    BTW I thought sock thirved lived in clother dryers. Sillu me. I looked under the bed for them and the dust bunnies lacked the courage to rat the sock thief out. 😉

      xanthuskidd responded:
      20 June , 2011 at 18:47

      Oh, that’s a common misconception, those are actually appliances that are unhappy for whatever reason. It’s not your fault, there’s really nothing you can do. If you had to endure being stuffed with clothes and spin them around inside yourself to dry them off you probably wouldn’t be very happy either. 😀

    nothingprofound said:
    20 June , 2011 at 18:46

    Bed bugs? O yes, I believe in bed bugs. Of them I have tangible proof.

      Alysis said:
      20 June , 2011 at 23:15

      Oh yes. If you are from New York or New Jersey….. bed bugs are all too real! Of their mysteries, there is not much to ponder. They are demons sent from hell to ravage the earth.

    Dennis Hodgson said:
    22 June , 2011 at 12:41

    What about vampires and werewolves? I don’t believe in them myself, but I believe that many people do. In the case of the sock thief, I think that you may be mistaken in attributing your missing socks to this creature. For a more rational explanation, try Googling “gelgins”.

      xanthuskidd responded:
      22 June , 2011 at 13:32

      Wow! That’s a great post! I do believe that I have mis-identified my sock thief. 😉

    Doug Stephens said:
    22 June , 2011 at 16:28

    I miss the pure and innocent beliefs of my childhood. Growing up is a pain in the butt.

    Jay.me said:
    22 June , 2011 at 20:10

    The Sock Thief was just made up to hide the truth.
    …That the missing socks are actually working undercover on the internet.

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