Words

The Incomplete Plenary of Obfuscation

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The atmosphere was one of light-hardheartedness and general mirth. Small talk and generic persiflage tickled the ears of passersby; the ubiquitous red shirts and old-style, ripped blue jeans that comprised the uniform of the shopkeepers might have been distracting, had the scene itself not provided a multiplicity of foreign and wild distractions. The floors were scattered haphazardly with tiles of multifarious shape and style. The mad colors blended with the dull grout and otherwise quotidian construction of the old building. Indeed, had those employed been dressed in naught but their essentials, the newcomer to this exhibit would have thought it none the stranger nor less fantastic. The walls held hand-painted murals and glass mosaics of nefarious looking poultry and graphic demembrations of various fowl. Many have pondered the state of consciousness of the artist from whose mind these images came: demented, insane, inebriated?

The establishment manages, somehow, to escape giving the impressions of a spurious or dubious nature. The real danger lies in the posterior of the curious shop. The clandestine–nay, even surreptitious–operations of those who work behind the visible operation. Indubitably, the operations were properly sanctioned through the various and customary routes of authoritarian government obtainment of permissions, yet when one was allowed into the cookery, the crushing reality of the atrocities committed therein were brought to light. Composed of the organization was this verse of undoubted truth and verisimilitude:

‘Twas a scene so foul, In the indeterminable bowel,
Of that terrible, queer, and violent store.
The place did give, of its own derive,
A feeling and aura, reminisce of Pandora,
Hidden behind that deathly door. 

For whom did it open? For what was within?
What could in the dreadful unknown be?
There behind that door of metal,
Wrought from pan, pot, and kettle,
There work the ones who peddle,
The lovely fried goodness, we call, KFC.

Salutations distinguées,
XanthusKidd

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How To Classify a Geek

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So, you want to classify that nerdy kid that sits next to you in class? Perhaps you want to figure out that guy that works at the computer store.  Maybe you wish to learn more about yourself. You’ve come to the right place!

Missing Image Alert!
See footnotes for differences between Nerds and Geeks.

The term geek is thrown around quite a bit, often in a derogatory manner. I thought it would be nice to disperse some of the confusion surrounding this term and bring to light some of the smaller nuances and discrepancies of its use. This term is actually quite inclusive and has many subsets. Let’s take a look at some of the groups…

The Common Geek:
Often thought of in a negative light, the common perception is that this person will be male, scrawny, glasses-sporting, and socially awkward. Unfortunately, this stereotype is often correct. Now, before we jump to the conclusion that all common geeks are this way, let me state that there are exceptions. The only actual requirement for being a common geek is a love for some type of technology. Therefore, many doctors, scientists, engineers, and even pilots are geeks.

The Gamer:
Gamers tend to come in two flavors. First, there are the loud, obnoxious, and socially awkward types. Then, there are the quiet, reclusive, and socially awkward types. Whilst the label “Socially Awkward” is here applied, it must be noted that many gamers are avid socializers. Their preferred method of human interaction is via LAN parties, the Internet, and, of course, gaming chat interfaces. Gamers will love all things shiny. They love pretty graphics, fast computers, and new releases. Gamers love to have the best, latest, and newest of everything. Everything in life is usually assigned a priority, much like in an RPG (Role Playing Game.) Get food +5, go outside for air +1, complete three more quests in Skyrim +23. Often, gamers will not care as much about the hardware of their computer as its performance in certain games.

The Computer Geek:
Guilty as charged. The computer geek is a lover of all things electronic. Computer parts, microcontrollers, solder guns, LEDs, and Potentiometers, there is nothing that runs on batteries that a computer geek can resist tinkering with. Or destroying…The computer geek will often have at least two computers–one of which he built himself. He doesn’t care as much about performance as he does about customization. Everything is custom, from the UI (User Interface) to the mousepad.

Click on the image to view more awesome art by the geek *cough* artist that drew this. 😀

The Innocent Geek:
This person is truly a unique and interesting individual. The innocent geek seldom realizes his true level of geekiness; if he does, he just doesn’t care. This person will flaunt his knowledge, talents, and geekiness for the whole world to see–not because he is vain, but merely because he doesn’t think it’s abnormal to know the firing-rate and name of every blaster used in Star Wars. The innocent geek can be a great companion, especially when he is willing to learn and try new things. Hey… wanna try levitating granite? It’s fun!

The Artsy Geek:
This geek is one of the most socially acceptable of the geek family. Often, the geekiness of the person is not even known until the area of infection is broached in conversation. The art geek can focus on anything, but tends to fixate on the tools just as much as the medium. If it is photography, the geek will love all things camera. Be it art, the geek will be constantly focusing on new styles painting or the newest Wacom tablet. Here the concentrations begin to converge and overlap, as is often the case. See Computer Geek. If the area of interest is literature, be warned! Once a conversation is started upon Lord of the Rings or Harry Potter, the clock may seem to move much slower than is normally its habit.

The Female Geek:
A bit more rare, these are the most unique of the lot. The female Geek will often be socially shy, but not awkward unless she desires to be. Please note, any of the above geeks can be female, it is just more common for the female to stand apart from her male counterpart. The female Geek is often characterized by her vast knowledge of fictional lands or works. Complete knowledge of the characters and plot of Star Wars, Star Trek, Doctor Who, or Lord of the Rings is not uncommon. Often, the female geek will be fluent in a fictional language–most commonly Tolkienian Elvish or Dwarvish.

That covers most of the main types of geeks. As I stated in the common geek explanation, anyone with an overt love for anything can become a geek in that area. Bicycle geek, donut geek, music geek, lawn mower geek, pop tart geek… I digress. Now you know what to look for. Do you know any geeks?

Take Care,
~XK

Disclaimer and other assorted footnotes:
Perhaps a quick explanation of the difference between a Geek and a Nerd is in order. Actually, this has been the topic of much debate, and I merely used the safest assumptions for the guide given above. Hover your mouse over the terms Nerd and Geek to get an idea of the definitions of each, as given by the Oxford English Dictionary. As seen from the definitions, there is little difference in the terms, and therefore only cultural references to distinguish the two. it appears that nerd can formally refer to an expert in a field, but culturally, nerd tends to be a more derogatory term directed at science, math, and computer techies.
Perhaps a clarification of the term “socially awkward” is in order. Often, it is expected that people interact with each other via verbal communication. Unfortunately, there are those who have trouble expressing themselves in a way that matches the normal conventions and expectations. Usually, it is the topic or manner in which the conversation is held, but it is also sometimes merely that the person who is awkward does not want to hold a conversation. Thus, socially awkward is the inability to, lack of desire to, or ineptitude in speaking with others in normal topics and conversations. No! I don’t want 8 Pop Tarts… I want 12, I want 12 of them! Click here if you have no idea…