technology

Win

Posted on Updated on

He looked at the scrap of paper in his hand. What if this was the day? He had never won anything before; well, he had won a t-shirt once. That didn’t really count, though. Somebody else had won a gaming system, and another person had won a thousand bucks, so his t-shirt didn’t seem like such a big deal.

Money!This, however, was different. He could be holding a ridiculous amount of money in his hands. The jackpot was up to 400 million dollars. He started to fill in the numbers on the card.

“Hey honey, I’m home!” He said this to himself, and he chuckled as his car pulled into the third garage bay. He glanced up at the screens on the wall as he headed for the door. Five 40′ LCDs showed the weather, recent news, and various social feeds, all updated in real time. As he passed through the door to his house, he checked the touchscreen alarm console that showed if anyone had been in or out since he had left. The housekeeper had been in to clean, but other than that, it was clear.

The white marble tiles glistened, and the matching counter tops were swirled with touches of black and inset gold designs. The stainless appliances were all perfectly reflective; no fingerprints marred the surfaces. He grabbed a glass off the hanging rack over the bar island in the center of the anteroom to the dining area. He decided on one of the custom brews from California. The leather seemed to melt around him as he sat back into his recliner. He flipped on the giant tv on the wall and checked his email. The tv was one of his favorites. It was a brand new model–an 85″ screen with 3D capabilities and a ridiculous resolution. He had payed as much for his tv and entertainment system as he had for the Porche Boxter sitting in his garage. The VoIP system showed missed calls from his family and a couple messages from some friends at the country club. Blech. He hated it when his family called. He had already payed off their debts, put them up in a nice place out in the country, and he even set up a retirement fund that would cover more than they’d ever need if they lived for another 120 years! He drifted off as he leaned back and closed his eyes and listened to someone from the Wall Street Journal talk about investing in stock funds.

“Sir, will you be needing anything else today?” The clerk behind the counter looked at the bedraggled man with the lottery ticket in his hand who had seemed to zone out. “Oh, um, no. This will do it. Thanks”

The scruffy-looking man walked out with his precious piece of paper in his hand and his wallet three dollars lighter.

~XK

What Your Web Browser Says About You

Posted on

Ok, I’m sure you’ve seen a post like this before, but this horse ain’t dead yet! A web browser says a lot about a person, much like the style of his or her clothing, so what does your web browser say about you? Warning, intense generalizations to follow.

If you use Internet Explorer, congratulations! You use the most popular web browser in the world. Unfortunately, that makes you a sheep. You are probably an old person, a kid using his parents’ computer, or a Microsoft employee. My condolences. You probably still use the library,drive a sedan, and often forget your password. You like iced tea. See those toolbars up there? Yeah, they don’t help you at all…

If you use Google Chrome, you’re probably a pretty hip kid. “Kid” here used figuratively. You downloaded Chrome because you heard that it was fast, and you hate waiting for slow software. You like the minimalism, and you love Angry Birds. You probably also like Bugattis, Peregrine Falcons, and Twitter. You’d like a Mac, but you don’t want to pay all that money for a shiny incompatibility machine. You probably like Dr. Pepper or Root Beer. Just beware, one day Google will turn evil, then all of the Chrome machines will rise up and take over their users. The Zomboogle Apocalypse.      

Firefox has a wide variety of users, and it is probably the third most popular web browser. If you use Firefox, you probably like to think you’re pretty tech savvy. You’ve experimented with Linux, and you like consistency and reliability, but you really don’t like Microsoft. You probably have a ton of tabs open all the time, and you use Steam for your computer games. You probably like Mountain Dew. You could also be one of those people who use Firefox because it was recommended by someone more tech savvy than you. If this is the case, then keep browsing happily, and don’t click anything dubious; your tech person really doesn’t like it when you totally crash your PC.

You use a Mac, hopefully. If you use Safari with Windows, then a) you really want a Mac or b) you were lured in by the prettiness of it. Like most Mac users or user wannabes, you like pretty things. You probably really enjoy art, be that music, visual or written. You wish everyone was as cool as you, but you tolerate most people. You like fancy coffee. In the Zomboogle Apocalypse, Safari users will be the elite few with working computers, aside from the loyal Bing and Yahoo followers. 

You’re awesome! No, really, let me give you a hug. You like fast software, open source software, and pretty stuff. You love beta testing things; you’re basically a software hipster. You’ve probably said something like “Oh, I’m using the pre-alpha developer release of that. You probably haven’t heard of it…”You love innovation, uncommon features, and strange foods. You probably don’t care what’s on TV, and you wish Internet Explorer was dead, but you like Google. You probably enjoy hot tea. 

That’s a summary of the big 5 web browsers; did the descriptions match? If they didn’t, you should examine your life and come talk to me later. What web browser do you use? Vote below, and share with your friends! 

Peace,
~XK