One of my profs gave the prompt of “include a short paper about yourself.” The following was my response.
Myself is a person whom I have known all of my life, but I still stumble when I attempt to describe him. First of all, he doesn’t like to make mistakes; who does? He has made plenty, though. He has been involved in group activities since he was young: summer camp, drama camp, 4-H for 12 years, etcetera, but he still doesn’t like large groups of people. He has attended a college and a university, but he has yet to receive a degree. He wants to travel but is restricted by the lack of that social annoyance known as money. He likes reading, writing, photography, and the outdoors. He loves all sorts of music, but he shies away from pop and the more vulgar instances of rap. He grew up in church, and he still wants to serve the One who made him.
He’s currently taking classes that piqued his interests. He’s still not precisely sure what he’s doing in the fall. He thinks he may go to UNCC for a degree in Computer Science, but nothing is ever set in stone. He likes writing papers, believe it or not, and this one’s a short one.
So… let’s talk about procrastination. (and don’t say you’ll read this later.) I’m sure you’ve heard the jokes before, “Procrastinators Unite! (Tomorrow)” etc… But seriously, let’s take a look at this so called “problem.”
Really, procrastination isn’t a huge problem with most people; let me explain why. Let’s say you have to do something, (walk your dog, write a paper, take a shower…) it’s something that you really should do, but you really don’t want to do it.
Now (building off the shower example), you’ve needed to take a shower for about a week now, you stink a bit, and people really don’t want to come near you. You should probably do it. You have other ideas though. You get on Facebook, write a paper, read a book, eat a cookie, eat ten cookies, wonder why there aren’t any pop tarts… anyway, I digress. Now, unless you’re one of those people that seriously doesn’t do anything when they’re procrastinating, (i.e. You sit in your chair staring blankly at the wall pondering how many bananas it would take to make a tribe of 20 monkeys happy for a year.) I have a viable excuse that you can use.
You aren’t procrastinating, you are accomplishing other tasks as a result of waylaying the completion of another. This is a tactic I like to call “Collateral Productivity.” You’re being productive, (I mean, socialization is key to good relationships, that paper seriously needed to be written, you learned a lot from that book on Star Wars, and really… those cookies were going to go stale soon anyways…) so procrastination really isn’t a good term. So the next time someone accuses you of procrastinating, look them square in the eyes and say, “I was being collaterally productive, thank you very much.” If you say it with enough confidence, you might even get away with it. 😉
P.S. – This is not a tactic recommended for use on school work, real work, important work , work with deadlines, or breakfast. Hierarchy of importance is key in these matters. So, go ahead, skip showering for a week, but really, don’t do it if you have a job interview, recruiters want to get to know you, but not that well.
P.P.S. – I don’t personally skip showers, that’d be nasty.
Salutations and felicitations! You have successfully completed your high school career! Of course, you already knew that, I just typed it because Hallmark loves to state the obvious, and obviously, Hallmark knows so much… Anyway. You’re going to get so many cards, you’ll be automatically opening every colored envelope you see. “Oh boy! That’s… a netflix envelope.” (anticlimactic.) You are going to grow sick of that song about finding your wings and flying and roots and love. You’ll be like “Arg!!! I know you love me and want me to do well in life, just say it already! Don’t sing that song! No!!!” *sigh of despair* It’s only for a moment you were mine to hold… something, something something wings… Just smile and thank the singer. (You can secretly talk about them later behind their back.) You’re going to hear the question “So, what are you doing with yourself now?” so many times. Have fun with the question. (“I’m going to be a professional cat tamer” or “I’m moving into my parent’s basement to play video games” or “I’m traveling to 14 countries on a mastercard, I’ll be in debt about $100k by the time I’m done, it’s the same as going to college…. right?”) After that, come up with a good, solid, easy-to-repeat answer. (It’s a fun question the first 4 or 20 times it’s asked.) So, yeah, that’s about all the advice I have for you. Once you get to college, (if you go to college) you’ll discover the great new world of higher education and harder classes. Anyway, CONGRATULATIONS!!!!
PS: Can I have a piece of your graduation cake? 😉