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Unsubscription Survey (this is why I don’t give relationship advice)

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My friend and I were talking the other day, and we’ve decided that a survey could be quite applicable in certain circumstances. When answered honestly, surveys can be quite helpful. When answered dishonestly, well, let’s just say that I didn’t hear of your company from the Easter Bunny.

The certain circumstance were were discussing, however, was the cessation of a relationship. Bonus points for diplomatic phrasing. Wouldn’t it be awesome if you could just send your ex-significant-other a form and ask her or him to fill it out? I mean, it works for KFC.

Luckily for you, we thought of a few questions that might go well on such a survey! Me, being the geek that I am, decided to create a form just for that purpose. (Notice that I said create, and mentioned nothing about implementation.)  Feel free to use this whenever you wish. It’s downloadable and fillable on the computer. 

Good day!
~XK

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I Need Friends

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EDIT: THIS POSITION HAS BEEN CUT DUE TO LACK OF BUDGET FUNDING, THE ECONOMY, AND RENEWED AWESOMENESS OF CURRENT FRIENDS. PLEASE NOTE THAT THE FOLLOWING POSITIONS ARE STILL OPEN: SOCIAL FRIENDSHIP, LONG-DISTANCE & SOCIAL FRIENDSHIP, LOCAL. 
THIS ANNOUNCEMENT EFFECTIVE APRIL 2, 2013.

To be honest, I’m getting tired of a lot of my friends. Many of them have been my friends since we were quite young, and after all these years together, I think it’s time for me to make some changes.

I don’t want to come across as crass or uncaring, but I really am just tired of the same people all the time.

Thus, I have introduced an application for new best friends. The application is short and concise, and I hope to gain many new awesome friends this way. I will be reviewing submissions and sending out pink slips to current friends as positions are filled.

You can download and print the document below to fill out.

Thanks! You guys are the best!
~ Chris