Ok, I’m sure you’ve seen a post like this before, but this horse ain’t dead yet! A web browser says a lot about a person, much like the style of his or her clothing, so what does your web browser say about you? Warning, intense generalizations to follow.
If you use Internet Explorer, congratulations! You use the most popular web browser in the world. Unfortunately, that makes you a sheep. You are probably an old person, a kid using his parents’ computer, or a Microsoft employee. My condolences. You probably still use the library,drive a sedan, and often forget your password. You like iced tea. See those toolbars up there? Yeah, they don’t help you at all…
If you use Google Chrome, you’re probably a pretty hip kid. “Kid” here used figuratively. You downloaded Chrome because you heard that it was fast, and you hate waiting for slow software. You like the minimalism, and you love Angry Birds. You probably also like Bugattis, Peregrine Falcons, and Twitter. You’d like a Mac, but you don’t want to pay all that money for a shiny incompatibility machine. You probably like Dr. Pepper or Root Beer. Just beware, one day Google will turn evil, then all of the Chrome machines will rise up and take over their users. The Zomboogle Apocalypse.
Firefox has a wide variety of users, and it is probably the third most popular web browser. If you use Firefox, you probably like to think you’re pretty tech savvy. You’ve experimented with Linux, and you like consistency and reliability, but you really don’t like Microsoft. You probably have a ton of tabs open all the time, and you use Steam for your computer games. You probably like Mountain Dew. You could also be one of those people who use Firefox because it was recommended by someone more tech savvy than you. If this is the case, then keep browsing happily, and don’t click anything dubious; your tech person really doesn’t like it when you totally crash your PC.
You use a Mac, hopefully. If you use Safari with Windows, then a) you really want a Mac or b) you were lured in by the prettiness of it. Like most Mac users or user wannabes, you like pretty things. You probably really enjoy art, be that music, visual or written. You wish everyone was as cool as you, but you tolerate most people. You like fancy coffee. In the Zomboogle Apocalypse, Safari users will be the elite few with working computers, aside from the loyal Bing and Yahoo followers.
You’re awesome! No, really, let me give you a hug. You like fast software, open source software, and pretty stuff. You love beta testing things; you’re basically a software hipster. You’ve probably said something like “Oh, I’m using the pre-alpha developer release of that. You probably haven’t heard of it…”You love innovation, uncommon features, and strange foods. You probably don’t care what’s on TV, and you wish Internet Explorer was dead, but you like Google. You probably enjoy hot tea.
That’s a summary of the big 5 web browsers; did the descriptions match? If they didn’t, you should examine your life and come talk to me later. What web browser do you use? Vote below, and share with your friends!
No… this isn’t a post about alcohol. Tsk tsk… you should know me better by now. This is actually a post that is intended to promote the enjoyment and wonderfulness of the most fantastic of beverages. What would that be? Well then, there exist only a few options.
Alcoholic beverages are out of the equation — anything that causes people to run into trees in the middle of the night can’t be good. Except for Tim Tebow. He’s like… the greatest good, and he can probably make people run into trees.
Obviously, soda pop for you Yankees is one of the great inventions in the world of liquid ingestibles; however, the fact that it can double as a high-strength corrosive is slightly disconcerting. And you can use it to clean toilets. That makes me wanna drink Coke…
In the Great American South, nothing surpasses the glory and fame of the esteemed Sweet Tea. I’m pretty sure that if the South was an animistic culture, the tea god would be a deity comparable only to the fried chicken and pimento cheese sandwich gods. Even though I am a great lover of sweet tea, I cannot bring myself to list it as the best of drinks. Why? I once mistook the sweet tea for the pancake syrup; unfortunately, there wasn’t any discernible difference.
Closely related in form and name, but varying widely in taste, we have the wonderful British contribution of Hot Tea. Tea is a great beverage, but due to the fact that Britain once over-taxed a little colony of theirs, there has arisen another and more American drink in every sense of the word. Due to the fact that the phrase “tea party” conjures up images of little girls and Toy Story, this beverage has also fallen short of the title of greatest.
What is the wonderful beverage that has overshadowed even the most ubiquitous drink of the might British empire? Let’s see if you can guess. Although it has born the brunt of many criticisms of the medical community, it has many redeeming qualities. 1) It tastes good. 2) It goes great with milk, sugar, creamer, and many other additives. 3) It can come in many different forms, from hot to cold to ice creamed to home-brewed. 4) It gives a boost of energy the equivalent of eating 16 candy canes (depending on the quantity of beverage.) If you haven’t yet guessed what drink it is that I am talking about, then please… get a life. Just kidding. (Sort of.) Anyhow, coffee is my number one favorite drink of all time. In fact, I will even venture so far as to say that it is the best of all beverages that one could drink. Excepting maybe water… but that’s just plain boring.