Nom

Food Theory — Part 3

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This is a continuation of Food Theory — Part 2. 

Over the centuries, many different sub-concepts and theories have evolved from the human knowledge of food. Some of the strangest and most interesting were developed by a wacko psychologist named Sigmund Freud.  It’s not what you think. [...]

Freud was obsessed with one particular aspect of human nature: hunger. Freud proposed that every action taken, both intentional and subconscious, is fueled in some way by hunger. Through his methods of tropsyanalysis don’t bother looking it up, just try to remember your Greek and free association, Freud was able to draw many interesting conclusions about the nature of the appetite. Freud found that many people were hungry as children; they grew up wanting food, yet they were denied it by their parents. Freud expanded his repression theory to include multiple factors. He proposed that people who dislike certain foods do so because they were overfed those foods as a child. Traumatic experiences with badly cooked food were also blamed for aversions to certain foods. Remember that time you were attacked by that huge killer donut? No, Freud didn’t think you would…

Through his method of free association, Freud was able to discover what he thought were the underlying problems with many people’s appetites. Patients would be given a variety of foods and asked to report their associations with each. Tastes like chicken…

One of Freud’s most controversial theories is the Edibles Complex. Freud stated that all children wish to eat their parents’ food. Babies are given baby food, but they desire to take their parents’ and eat anything that is edible. Using this theory, Freud justified many cases of theft, covetousness, and even murder. Anything, in Freud’s eyes, could be justified if the perpetrator was hungry enough. Even Grand Larceny of Pop tarts. That’s a pretty big deal. 

Freud states that all people are born liking everything, yet they develop appetites and dislikes for certain foods due to their surroundings and upbringing. This is why most people from the North dislike sweet tea. They have been raised to abhor that Southern delicacy which all truly awesome people like.  

Thankfully Unfortunately, Sigmund had a propensity for cigars. He was warned that smoking them would endanger his health, but he ignored the advice and continued smoking–citing his theory that his hunger for cigars was naturally unavoidable. Eventually, he developed cancer and persuaded his doctor help him commit suicide. After administering lethal amounts of pancakes, Freud’s doctor declared him dead. This is why I have never written on pancakes. I try to steer clear of potentially controversial topics.

Good Day!
~XK

Food Theory — Part 2

Posted on Updated on

A continuation of Food Theory — Part 1. 

From Plato, we move to the theological. The Form of the Food is the highest concept in Platonic theory, but what shall we give to those for whom there must exist a maker? Obviously, the food must come from somewhere. To the religious, the Chef is the entity who has created the food. The Chef’s work is written in his Cookbook and recorded for all to read. The religious still hold that one day the Chef will return and establish his kitchen on earth and abolish all hunger. Along with Burger King, that should have been abolished long ago.

In the beginning, there was naught. The Chef looked down from his kitchen and said “let there be food” and there was food. The Chef looked upon this food and saw that it was good. He saw, however, that there was something lacking. He spoke to the people of the Dining Room and gave them a command: “Go unto all the tables, eating the food that I have created, sharing it with others and feasting merrily.” Now, the people of the Dining Room were evil, and when they saw the greatness of the feast that had been placed before them, they were seized with envy. Each man fought with his brother over the contents of his plate. Soon, the glorious feast that had been prepared by the Chef was gone–destroyed in the gluttonous fighting. The Chef came in from his kitchen and saw the mess that filled the Dining Room. His sadness was great, so he told the people, “because you disobeyed my command, you have brought hunger down upon yourselves.” From thence came hunger. This is why all humans are now hungry. ~ Ancient Hunger Myth

Many throughout the ages have disputed the authority, even the existence, of a divine Chef.  The scientific community holds that all food began as a giant ingredient “soup.” As the state of the ingredients grew more and more agitated, a giant explosion was propagated. From this came a very basic form of food. All other, more complicated, forms of food evolved from this first form. Like cream puffs. Have you ever tried to make those? They’re complicated!

The Chef is Dead. ~ Nietzsche Life is cyclical. Nom.

Friedrich Nietzsche believed that the Chef was a fabrication of people’s minds. His famous quote (seen above) is usually taken as a non-literal interpretation of the concept of a Chef. The Chef is not seen as an actual cook, but rather a conceptual visualization of how Nietzsche believed that the Chef was no longer a viable belief. Rather like the idea of a cook at McDonald’s. A novel idea, but far-fetched and hopeless nonetheless.

Nietzsche held that culinary perfection could be obtained for all through the creation of new recipes under the concept of Übermensch. (loosely translated Super-Muffin) He also believed that the food realm was cyclical, and all possible combinations of ingredients would be obtained during the cycles of the kitchen. Cantaloupe Pasta, meatball ice cream, and cabbage flavored chewing gum. Of course, he has since died, and with his body, his theories rotted away over time.

I would be remiss to speak of culinary deities without bringing up the newest and most tasty of them all. The Flying Spaghetti Monster is generally regarded among the masses of the patrons of the internet cafés as the highest being in the kitchen. The FSM gladly bestows his grace and meatballs upon all who come before him with humor and wit. Unfortunately, the Church of the FSM is quite unorganized and resembles a random WordPress blog. And nobody reads those. Obviously.

Until next time… enjoy those Big Macs.
~ XK

Continued…