So, I got a Mac a while back, and something I’ve always wanted to do was create a song in Garageband. I’ve never played any instruments other than the trumpet and trombone, and neither of those lend well to digital music.
Garageband has a huge library of loops. I started to play with different combinations, and I finally decided on the words I wanted to use. So, without any further ado, I give you The Raven (rap).
Yep. That’s that.
Please excuse the mis-pronunciation of “quaff” and “beak.” If I ever re-record it, I’ll fix my gaffs.
Well, okay, maybe not of all time, but at least of the selection that lives in my library of music.
Anchor & Braille — Wedding / Funeral
It’s a song written from the perspective of a guy who is feeling remorseful of letting go of an old friend. It’s for her funeral or wedding ’cause, you know, that’s not creepy.
“I’m a great burning lament to this day
But I realize now you’re in a better place
Hands will tremble
As you’re lowered down the aisle
But you won’t look at me
Not so much as smile
I want to stand up and speak my peace
And let your hollow pieces walk away.”
Dude, you’ve got some emotional issues. I’m seriously considering setting up an eHarmony account for you.
Cascada — Everytime We Touch
Ok, I don’t think it’s meant to be a stalker song, but this lady is just a bit obsessive… Strangely enough, this video reminds me of Nirvana’s Smells Like Teen Spirit video, but I prefer this version.
“I still hear your voice, when you sleep next to me.
I still feel your touch in my dream.
Forgive me my weakness, but I don’t know why
Without you it’s hard to survive.”
If you’re hearing voices, you should seek professional help.
GLaDOS — Still Alive
A song written just for me by a megalomaniacal supercomputer who wanted to kill me. So sweet.
“I’m not even angry.
I’m being so sincere right now.
Even though you broke my heart.
And killed me.
And tore me to pieces.
And threw every piece into a fire.
As they burned it hurt because I was so happy for you!”
…anyway, you should play Portal if this makes no sense.
Stellar Kart — Kiss the Girl
Yes, this is a cover of a song from The Little Mermaid. Yes, I have this song in my iTunes library. LISTEN TO THOSE STALKER LYRICS, THOUGH.
“Yes, you want her
Look at her, you know you do
It’s possible she wants you too
There’s one way to ask her
It don’t take a word, not a single word
Go on and kiss the girl”
Death Cab for Cutie — I Will Possess Your Heart
The title says it all. Also, 4 minute guitar intro.
“You reject my… advances… and desperate pleas…
I won’t let you… let me down… so easily.”
I’m sorry, but, um, I’m calling the cops…
The Afters — Myspace Girl
“You asked me what I wanted… I want you!”
Would you like fries with that?
Needtobreathe — Girl Named Tennessee
This one’s just kind of like a failed stalker song…
“Oh, she danced away with my heart and soul
Who she was, I will never know
Danced away with my hopes and dreams
My sweet girl from Tennessee”
In one night, you placed all of your hopes and dreams in a girl? Overconfident, much?
Fall Out Boy — My Songs Know What You Did in the Dark
I’m really not even sure. Certainly sounds stalkerish to me…
Owl City — Deer In the Headlights
This was a free download from iTunes. I promise I didn’t buy this…
“Met a girl with a graceful charm,
But when beauty met the beast he froze.
Got the sense I was not her type
By black eye and bloody nose,
But I guess that’s the way it goes.”
No… I’m pretty sure you’re doing it wrong.
Relient K — Faking My Own Suicide
“To get your attention, I’m faking my own suicide…”
Yeah, yeah… that’ll do it.
And those are the stalker songs from my music library. What’s your favorite stalker song?
In an effort to remain transparent (figuratively) and bolster my public image, I have decided to post opinion polls at random times to discover the opinions of others concerning things that are close to my heart (no, not my ribcage, again, figuratively).
Think about it.