Jelly Belly

An Atrocity Towards Mankind

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This week was Spring Break. It was fantastic to be able to get extra sleep, complete enough schoolwork to feel satisfied, and make an attempt at cooking a passable meal. It’s been great! Today though, something happened which has irreversibly altered my state of mind. It has caused me to question the meaning of life and look at things through a different lens. I remembered that evil does exist in this world. I found that everything is not coming up roses. Sadly, I realized that everyone does not want to be my friend.

You see, today I rediscovered a horrible travesty towards mankind. I found, in my hand, a Buttered Popcorn Jelly Belly. I know, it is terrible. I understand; I did not mean to scare you so. I’m sorry; I will not mention it again. But I had to tell someone. I had to see if anyone understood how this tragic incident has affected my life. I wanted you to know that if you too have been afflicted by this terror, there are people who understand. Please don’t feel alone when you find a Buttered Popcorn mixed into your jelly beans. You will survive; just know, you will never be the same.

Note: If you do like Buttered Popcorn Jelly Bellys, please know that I still accept you as a person. I cannot, however, continue as your friend. I’m sorry it had to end this way, but we can’t go on in this state of denial. Goodbye. I will miss you. (But not your culinary tastes.)