Gay Rights

An Informed Opinion

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I’ve heard a lot recently about these so-called “gay marriages.” I’ve heard that some people are marching in the streets to support the right of gay people to marry, and I’ve also heard that other people are marching in the streets to oppose the first people marching in the streets. In other streets, people are marching to support the marching of the people who are marching to oppose the marching of the people who march to oppose the marching of people who support gay marriages. That’s a lot of marching. 

Cambridge Dictionary:
Gay // ɡeɪ :
Happy; bright and attractive.

EXTERMINATE!!!!Honestly, I think people should be allowed to marry in whatever style they wish. If they want to have a gay marriage, that’s their prerogative. Who wouldn’t want their marriage to be cheery!? I don’t see what the fuss is all about.

With all of the colorful rainbows, the happy signs, and the friendly displays of affection that occur during these  marches, I fail to see the degradation that supposedly occurs. Marriage is a happy occasion, and I think that fact should be recognized! That the case has gone to the US Supreme Court is, in my humble opinion, a very telling sign that the US is straying from her great traditional roots of rejoicing pilgrims, rebellious colonials, and brothers slaughtering each other because of the slave trade.

This issue is clearly distracting us from the important issues of increasing our government’s debt, making Middle-Easterners angry, and continuing to poke the North Koreans. Maybe the gay-rights activists should be marching in those countries, promoting peace and happiness!

Anyway, in the words of that famous Christmas carol, I’m off to don some gay apparel.

Bai kids!

Editor’s Note: It has come to our attention that the word “gay” may be used in more than one way. Please rest assured that we are performing every action necessary to determine the proper use of the word in question.