The Best Dictionary Ever — Volume II

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I almost forgot about this series, but thankfully, I found this draft in my archives. This is a continuation of The Best Dictionary Ever. Read on to be enlightened.

More Important Things Explained

~~~

Cats: Generally considered evil masterminds, these animals are actually just here to observe our race. They care nothing for either mastering nor destroying the earth; they wish merely to upset the established order and spread a little chaos. All in the name of science, of course.

Books: A legal drug, approved and even promoted by most progressive governments and educational systems. Used to alleviate depression, boredom, and other ailments of the mind. Side-effects include dizziness, upset stomach, depression, sadness, drowsiness, obsessive behavior, and mild paper cuts.

Dictionaries: Drab things that exist primarily to confirm or deny the existence of allegedly misused words.

Dogs: These animals are like the UN of the animal world. They try to keep all of the other animals from disrupting the peace; in the process, however, they usually just make matters worse.

Facebook: A website designed to collect all of the excess “spare time” on our planet. Although touted as a social networking site, it has the side effect of gradually decaying most people’s actual social life. It is assumed by some that this will be used as a a weapon in the impending Zomboogle Apocalypse.

Music: That wonderful tool with which we can annoy, enlighten, bring joy to, or depress any person whom we choose (as long as said person is not deaf).

Spotify: The best internet music application ever.  

The Zomboogle Apocalypse: Despite Google’s insinuation that they are a good-loving organization, they will eventually turn all unsuspecting Google users into zombies. Only Mac users and careful internet users will be spared (definition pending).

To be continued…?

~~~

Peace
~ XK

In other news, (I’ll soon be announcing it officially), there’s a new button in the menu at the top of my blog. Check it out?

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One thought on “The Best Dictionary Ever — Volume II

    Big D said:
    26 January , 2013 at 04:55

    excellent and worryingly true.
    More please.

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