Welcome to part one of How to Talk to People– an ICBGM general initiative. The purpose of this series is to teach and inform on the general concepts of real-life interaction between digitally-minded people.
For those of you who don’t commonly frequent Internet forums, let me quickly explain the concept. Forums are digital “huddles” on the Internet in which people gather, post questions, project opinions, and respond to others’ posts. Forums attract all sorts of people: nice people, angry people, helpful people, loud people, and the list goes on. Bronies, don’t even get me started on Bronies. Why did you even bring them up?
I’m going to focus on that last–and probably most annoying–group of people in the list: the loud ones. Inclusive of shouters and ranters, the members of this troll-like group of creatures love to cause ruckus. These people love their own opinions. In fact, they love them so much, they feel they must share their golden pieces of integral knowledge with everyone they meet. Like talking to regular people about singers in bands. For hours. It’s just not cool.
So the real question, and the whole point of this post, is this: are you a forum ranter in real life? Let’s go through the list below to see if you fit the description.
- Loud – I suppose this is something one wouldn’t admit, but this is also a very common characteristic of a ranter. The common ranter is often very vocal, loud, and persistent—often about pointless things. Like televised golf. Televised golf is pointless.
- Prolific Conversationalist – Similar to the Internet’s bane, the over-frequent poster, this person strikes up conversations with everyone. This wouldn’t be too terrible, except for the fact that the conversations are all about the same things, and they usually are self-glorifying. Dude, I have the entire list of Kellogg’s cereals memorized! Wanna hear them?
- Conversationjacking – Like hijacking a car, but with a conversation. Have you ever been talking with a friend when a random person comes up and butts in? The new person takes over the conversation, steers it in whatever direction he wishes, and eventually drives it into the terrible Swamp of Boredom—completely oblivious to the other conversationalists that he drowned in the process.
- Inability to Understand Others – ie: Regard for other people. This is helpful in the general role of human interaction.
So, are you one of these people? If so, I have a piece of advice for you. Stop it! Don’t even question why; the fact that these actions are all conducive to loneliness, solitude, and excess Internet usage should be enough to convince you to drop them from your everyday activities.
Paid for by the Internet Committee for the Betterment of General Mankind. Tune in next time for advice on how to talk with enthusiasts about their areas of expertise.