Holiday Tears

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Much to the disdain of myself and (most undoubtedly) others like me, it is that horrible and most unfortunate season again. That terrible time that so rudely takes up far too much of an otherwise impeccable and pristine blank space on the calendar of life. Indeed, my friends, it is with tremulous voice and unsteady hand that I attempt to put down on paper a most uncouth and ghastly pronouncement.

But come! What else was there to be done? This question has racked my mind and being until the very fabric of my meager existence began to unravel and come to danger of bursting aflame! If indeed, in the course of reading this atrocious perambulate, you reach an answer or even come to terms with this odious and most discordant conundrum, do please come forth and state your most sought after and treasured conquest.

To continue… of course! The continuation of any locomotive having once been dissuaded from its set path is enough to grant even the least sentimental of skeptics a glance at the meaning of joy. So, thenceforth, onward with the train of thought that is mine. Alas, indeed; must it finally come to this? Must I name the source of this cacophonous tragedy that is imposing its bleak towers upon the walls of our stalwart defenses.

The holidays are upon us. The modulations are creeping in through the walls. The terrible fate that visits oh-so-predictably is back once again. Say hello to your doom and goodbye to your friends. The terrors are upon us and they have already come. Beware. Holiday cheers? No, I’m afraid it cannot be so. Holiday tears. My friends, the Christmas music is here.

~ XK

Disclaimer: Yes I do usually dislike Christmas music. No, I don’t hate all Christmas music. Exhibit A: Relient k’s Christmas album. No, I don’t usually talk like this. Yes, I like pop tarts. No, I’m not sure why the fabric of my existence is flammable. No, I didn’t buy the extended warranty. Yes, I like small kittens and bleu cheese–separately and in different ways. No, I’ve never seen Gone With the Wind. My favorite book is The Count of Monte Cristo. Are you still reading this? You should stop and have an Oreo. Did you know I can read your mind? You’re thinking about cookies. Anyway, have a nice life. 

Rudolph, the red-nosed reindeer!… (Now it’s stuck in your head.)    

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12 thoughts on “Holiday Tears

    traciedj said:
    10 December , 2011 at 23:56

    I am forced to listen to Christmas music at work (I work at outback steakhouse) and I usually end up coming home bleeding from my ears. It has truly spoiled my Christmas spirit. I feel your pain.
    –TJ

      xanthuskidd responded:
      11 December , 2011 at 09:11

      Ah, yes… It’s always worse when you have no choice in the matter. I was in Outback the other day, and the Christmas music they were playing was terrible. I do love the food, though… Now I want a Bloomin’ Onion.

    Flameheart said:
    11 December , 2011 at 01:14

    Haha! Darn. You mind reader you 😉

    I enjoy some Christmas music, but then, I always was a sucker for cheesy songs.

    Although Rudolph, the Red-nosed Reindeer is one song that drives me up the wall. Noooooooo!!!! It’s playing through the corners of my mind. Not cool XD, not cool.

      xanthuskidd responded:
      11 December , 2011 at 09:11

      Muahahahaha… I mean. Yes. Cheesy songs… they’re lovely. 😀

    Lilith said:
    11 December , 2011 at 17:25

    o! hahahahaha you are a funny boy…in a very goodish way. Now I dance rocknroll, and they play rocknroll xmas songs…….SO wrong!

    Weston Bethancourt said:
    11 December , 2011 at 20:18

    Trans-Siberian Orchestra…

    nuff said XD

      xanthuskidd responded:
      12 December , 2011 at 13:05

      -insert Skype (rock) emote here-

    Dennis Hodgson said:
    12 December , 2011 at 09:54

    Jingle Bells! Even the thought of this bloody “song” makes me break out in a cold sweat. I do my best to avoid anywhere that has piped music at this time of year, but I do need stuff from the local supermarket. Christmas? Bah! Humbug.

      xanthuskidd responded:
      12 December , 2011 at 13:02

      Yes, in terms of musical excellence, it ranks right on up there with Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star, and Happy Birthday. Enjoyed your post. 🙂

    nothingprofound said:
    12 December , 2011 at 12:36

    Chris, in case you’re interested there’ll be a Christmas sing-a-long at my house this coming Saturday. We’ll be singing all your favorites-I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus, The Chipmunks Christmas Song, Jingle Bells, Chestnuts Roasting On An Open Fire, and much much more. You and your pop tarts (seperately or together) are both invited.

      xanthuskidd responded:
      12 December , 2011 at 13:04

      Oh… well! Um… Unfortunately, it’s a bit of a hike for me. Maybe I’ll just skip out this time. Save me some chestnuts, would you?

    Rachel Allison said:
    12 December , 2011 at 17:54

    Phil Wickham actually has a good album of Christmas music. Newsboys doesn’t do too bad either. Trans-Siberian Orchestra is always a good choice when it comes to Christmas music… the Vitamin String Quartet isn’t too bad either. But our local radio station has a gift (wouldn’t really consider that a gift) for picking THE cheesiest Christmas songs out there…. 😛

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