How to be a Spam Bot

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I haven’t done any how-to’s on here yet, so I figured I’d start off with something that everyone should know how to do. The following instructions detail how to act like a spam bot.

  • First: Start off your message with a very strange salutation. Dear Persons, Hello Dear, Dear to Whom it May Concern, Hello my Friend
  • Second: Forget everything you ever learned about grammar, spelling, and the modern usage of the English language. It helps to use slightly archaic words such as “thusly”, “thence”, or “wherefore”.
  • Thirdly: Start playing around with your sentence structure. You never want your sentences to sound completely logical. For example: Would you like to start making thousands of dollars everyday on-line? Becomes: How would you start to like making thousands of on-line dollars everyday?
  • Fourth:  Make up corny official sounding acronyms. Then use said acronyms throughout your post. i.e.: Multi-Organizational Websites: “M.O.W.s”; Official Organization Email Services: “O.O.E.S.”; Canadian Internet Program: “C.I.P.s”
  • Finally: Come up with a slightly official sounding hotmail or AIM email address that you can use to tack to the end of your message and correspond with all of your newfound internet followers. End your message with something to confirm to your readers that you really care: God Bless You, Go in Peace, May the Force be With You. (Something like that.) Go around, make accounts with names like FreeInternetLoans, GetCashFast, OfficialEmails and start posting! I’m sure you’ll get lots of friends this way.

Oh, by the way, before you go, I have a special offer for you:

Dear Best One, I have a special new offer for you! Clicking the link in this message will take you to the internet site XanthusKidd set up on WordPress.com – a very cool internet weblogging site. Please do consider looking around therein. It is a very unike and unusual collection of messages that were made to phish peoples emails with. But don’t worry! It is not made to hurt your computer: only to warn you. Your Sincere Friend, XanthusKidd.  Phishing Scams

Alright, I’m done now.
CYa L8Tr!
~XK

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8 thoughts on “How to be a Spam Bot

    pbscott said:
    27 May , 2011 at 11:23

    Greeting Incredulous Sirs and Madames,

    I am humbled mostly by the article leading for Spam, and would like to graciously thank for thy post. My enjoyings are long and without several harmony.

    Several gladness and happy shoes for you and yours.

    nothingprofound said:
    27 May , 2011 at 11:35

    To Xanthuskidd or current resident: Please visit my blog at: spammasters.rl.com

    You link me, I link you!

    KathrineROID said:
    30 May , 2011 at 15:50

    Hey Xanthus Kid?

    Its Ashley and I’d like to tell yo about a great sight ! http://kathrineroid.wordpress.com has information valuable and fun to writers about many and inciteful topics. Check out http://kathrineroid.wordpress.com.

    Best,
    Ashly

    Hey, if akismet picks us up as spam, to we get prizes?

      xanthuskidd responded:
      30 May , 2011 at 16:49

      Haha, sure. I’ll think of something. You came the closest I believe; I had to approve your comment. =D

    radiomn1 said:
    3 June , 2011 at 15:50

    Man, is this the truth, lol.

    Eyewitness said:
    20 June , 2011 at 19:00

    Hello Dear Winner of Toyota International Lottery.

    xanthuskidd ,

    Thank you so much for the warnings. But with the passage of time some spammers have improved their grammar as well.

    Yours Sincerely,

    Eyewitness International Lottery, haha.

      xanthuskidd responded:
      20 June , 2011 at 19:17

      I am glad to hear that you have improved in your grammatical endeavors. May you spam forever more in peace. 😉

    Eyewitness said:
    20 June , 2011 at 20:29

    Haha,

    Perhaps, you’re the first one who has prayed for my “spamming”.

    Thank you so much for replying.

    (You have increased your chances of the lottery)

    Best Wishes.

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