Released to the public yesterday, Microsoft Office 2013 is finally here. Building on the tradition of the past, but not holding on to aged technologies, the Redmond-based company has completely re-designed their suite of office productivity applications. The installation is fairly straight-forward and easy. The software can be purchased in a store (included on 487 high density 3-1/2″ floppy diskettes), streamed wirelessly via FM radio (accessible through any Zune device or USB radio), or downloaded directly through The Pirate Bay.
Aiming to impress without leaving the painful impression left by the most severe of impressions, Microsoft Office 2013 is here. We feel you’ll love the simplicity, challenge and nostalgia afford by the 5-hour install time and bold orange color theme. Free subscription to Redmond Magazine in every box! ~ Office 2013 press release
Microsoft has taken a bold stance on UI with its newest version of Office. The entire experience is optimized for touchscreens, and the controversial “ribbon” menu interface has been replaced by the “bow tie” experience (instead of being hidden under tabs, options are now selected by tracing your finger or mouse in certain knot patterns, for example, the half-Windsor selects the printing options). Word has undergone perhaps the most drastic change, in appearances at least. The program now resembles a traditional pen-and-paper notepad, and all of the menu options are built into the spiral binding cascading down the left side of the screen. Options to change to college-ruled are available for more advanced users.
Microsoft Power Point has been completely revamped to minimize user input. Designs are now chosen via the theme options in Control Panel, and picture customizations can be applied from Instagram. The presentation mode of Power Point is now controlled exclusively through Kinect for Windows. Transitions are chosen randomly, and font selection is limited to Comic Sans, Arial, and Wingdings.
Microsoft Excel has been made more user-friendly, and “all that complicated math stuff” has been removed to make the user experience more smooth. Graphs are now limited to pie charts and bar graphs, and the color scheme changes according to the Bing Weather forecast.
Outlook has been changed to look like a cell phone texting screen, and Access and Publisher have been nixed entirely, because “nobody uses those programs anyway.” Onenote is still included, but nobody really knows how to use it.
And that’s how not to write a review,