I almost forgot about this series, but thankfully, I found this draft in my archives. This is a continuation of The Best Dictionary Ever. Read on to be enlightened.
More Important Things Explained
Cats: Generally considered evil masterminds, these animals are actually just here to observe our race. They care nothing for either mastering nor destroying the earth; they wish merely to upset the established order and spread a little chaos. All in the name of science, of course.
Books: A legal drug, approved and even promoted by most progressive governments and educational systems. Used to alleviate depression, boredom, and other ailments of the mind. Side-effects include dizziness, upset stomach, depression, sadness, drowsiness, obsessive behavior, and mild paper cuts.
Dictionaries: Drab things that exist primarily to confirm or deny the existence of allegedly misused words.
Dogs: These animals are like the UN of the animal world. They try to keep all of the other animals from disrupting the peace; in the process, however, they usually just make matters worse.
Facebook: A website designed to collect all of the excess “spare time” on our planet. Although touted as a social networking site, it has the side effect of gradually decaying most people’s actual social life. It is assumed by some that this will be used as a a weapon in the impending Zomboogle Apocalypse.
Music: That wonderful tool with which we can annoy, enlighten, bring joy to, or depress any person whom we choose (as long as said person is not deaf).
Spotify: The best internet music application ever.
The Zomboogle Apocalypse: Despite Google’s insinuation that they are a good-loving organization, they will eventually turn all unsuspecting Google users into zombies. Only Mac users and careful internet users will be spared (definition pending).
To be continued…?
In other news, (I’ll soon be announcing it officially), there’s a new button in the menu at the top of my blog. Check it out?