The Concept Engine

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The man looked up at the giant building and its rows of blinding mirrored windows. “The Idea is Simple,” read the slogan emblazoned on the sign. A giant TCE logo sat midway up the face, playing host to several nervous pigeons. Our friend checked the time once more before taking a deep breath and plunging into the crowd that flowed into the building. As he looked around, he noticed that some of the people wore suits and professional wear, but most of the throng was dressed quite casually, even too casually, he thought, as he noticed some boys in pajama bottoms.

The crowd was split into queue lines as they moved through the door. The scene was not unlike a transport station of sorts. Ticket lines and baggage checks stretched as far as the eye could see to the left and right. “The Concept Engine, experience total connectedness. Experience simplicity.” A woman’s voice repeated TCE propaganda on a loop as the people moved to their various lines. Glass elevators shot up and down the walls constantly, the screens within showing various nature scenes with soothing TCE voice-overs. “Welcome to The Concept Engine. Go beyond your thoughts. Experience the Concepts.”

Our man joined a line labeled “First Time” and began reading a brochure he had picked up at the front.

“All of humankind,” it began, “is now connected through the Internet. We can contact anyone we wish and see their image, live. We can send files from New York to Hong Kong in less time than it takes to hand your officemate a paper, but we still have the barrier of language-based communication. International imagery is confusing, and translators are expensive. The Concept Engine aims to fix the problem of communication. We will revolutionize the way you talk, or rather, don’t talk. With communications streams to over 100 different countries, you can talk to virtually anyone anywhere in the world.

Think of your topic, consider what you want to do, and your partner will immediately understand you. The next level of human communication has emerged. Welcome to The Concept Engine.”

T♦C♦E

With his ticket in hand, he jogged to reach elevator 37, his designated transport. “From the cave man’s drawings and grunts, to the discovery of the Rosetta stone, to the emergence of acronymous text language, communication has evolved and changed drastically over time. We have eliminated language all together. Prepare yourself for raw communication.” The elevator voice droned on as elevator itself flew towards its destination.

The seat was fairly comfortable, he thought, as he settled into the white chair labeled 23,947. The helmet-looking apparatus was waiting for him, and the arms straps secured his wrists against the armrests. “Hey..!” he began as the device automatically began to close. Soon, his thoughts were blurred. He could no longer form the words he felt were necessary. His ideas were nothing but raw conceptions. His years of training as a journalist faded into nothingness. All he felt was an extraordinary affinity for the idea of a concept. Happiness flooded his mind.

“Language elimination complete. Subject 23,947 conformed.” The message flashed briefly on a computer screen somewhere deep in TCE offices. “Subject 23,948… 23,949…”

The man walked out into the sweltering heat of the building’s front mall. He blinked several times and looked around him in a confused manner. He looked up at the TCE sign and felt comforted, though he wasn’t sure why. Another man walked out behind him and smiled in his direction, and though they said nothing, each understood the other, almost as if they could read each other’s minds. They thought for a few more minutes about the deals their companies had required them to make, and soon, their negotiations  were at an end. The lights faded again and he found himself sitting in a chair labeled 23,947. He felt as though he would never need to read or talk again.

“Subject released. Infection complete. Logged and prepared for return.” The computer screen flashed names and information at a dizzying rate.

“Goodbye for now, and remember, for the most complete communication experience, use The Concept Engine.”

And so he headed out of the building, trying to remember why he visited in the first place but sure of one thing: language is dead, and he would definitely be back soon.

“TCE — It’s the Thought that Counts.”

~XK

So, I haven’t written in like… forever. You’re welcome. The Concept Engine was an idea I had a couple years back when I thought I wanted to write some sci-fi. I wanted to expand on Orwell’s idea of simplified language, and what better way than to eliminate language altogether! Perhaps you’ll see this idea exploited some more at some point, and I’ll try to make it a bit more cohesive next time. Right now, I’m working on an alphabet for use in a fantasy series at some point, whenever I get around to actually writing something. I’ll post some more on that sometime soon. Good to see you again!
Bye for now,
Chris

Top Ten (Benign) Stalker Songs of All Time (from my iTunes library)

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Well, okay, maybe not of all time, but at least of the selection that lives in my library of music.

Anchor & Braille — Wedding / Funeral

It’s a song written from the perspective of a guy who is feeling remorseful of letting go of an old friend. It’s for her funeral or wedding ’cause, you know, that’s not creepy.

“I’m a great burning lament to this day
But I realize now you’re in a better place
Hands will tremble
As you’re lowered down the aisle
But you won’t look at me
Not so much as smile
I want to stand up and speak my peace
And let your hollow pieces walk away.”

Dude, you’ve got some emotional issues. I’m seriously considering setting up an eHarmony account for you.

Cascada — Everytime We Touch

Ok, I don’t  think it’s meant to be a stalker song, but this lady is just a bit obsessive… Strangely enough, this video reminds me of Nirvana’s Smells Like Teen Spirit video, but I prefer this version. 

“I still hear your voice, when you sleep next to me.
I still feel your touch in my dream.
Forgive me my weakness, but I don’t know why
Without you it’s hard to survive.”

If you’re hearing voices, you should seek professional help.

GLaDOS — Still Alive

A song written just for me by a megalomaniacal  supercomputer who wanted to kill me. So sweet.

“I’m not even angry.
I’m being so sincere right now.
Even though you broke my heart.
And killed me.
And tore me to pieces.
And threw every piece into a fire.
As they burned it hurt because I was so happy for you!”

…anyway, you should play Portal if this makes no sense.

Stellar Kart — Kiss the Girl

Yes, this is a cover of a song from The Little Mermaid. Yes, I have this song in my iTunes library. LISTEN TO THOSE STALKER LYRICS, THOUGH.

“Yes, you want her
Look at her, you know you do
It’s possible she wants you too
There’s one way to ask her
It don’t take a word, not a single word
Go on and kiss the girl”

Death Cab for Cutie — I Will Possess Your Heart

The title says it all. Also, 4 minute guitar intro.

“You reject my… advances… and desperate pleas…
I won’t let you… let me down… so easily.”

I’m sorry, but, um, I’m calling the cops…

The Afters — Myspace Girl

“You asked me what I wanted… I want you!”

Would you like fries with that?

Needtobreathe — Girl Named Tennessee

This one’s just kind of like a failed stalker song…

“Oh, she danced away with my heart and soul
Who she was, I will never know
Danced away with my hopes and dreams
My sweet girl from Tennessee”

In one night, you placed all of your hopes and dreams in a girl? Overconfident, much?

Fall Out Boy — My Songs Know What You Did in the Dark

I’m really not even sure. Certainly sounds stalkerish to me…

Owl City — Deer In the Headlights

This was a free download from iTunes. I promise I didn’t buy this…

“Met a girl with a graceful charm,
But when beauty met the beast he froze.
Got the sense I was not her type
By black eye and bloody nose,
But I guess that’s the way it goes.”

No… I’m pretty sure you’re doing it wrong.

Relient K — Faking My Own Suicide

“To get your attention, I’m faking my own suicide…”

Yeah, yeah… that’ll do it.

And those are the stalker songs from my music library. What’s your favorite stalker song?

~XK

If Tech Companies Were In Charge of Holidays…

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…the press releases might read something like these.

Halloween 2 (Apple)

It’s the same holiday that you know and love, but we’ve made it even easier to celebrate. With over 25 million sweet stations, and a customizable candy choice, you can celebrate this iconic event from the comfort of your own city. With the Halloween 2, we’ve brought the holiday industry to new heights with new features such as Treats 2.0, iTricks, and Find My Gnome. Our revolutionary new Sweet Tooth bluetooth headset will let you post where you’ve found the best treats in your town or wherever you are! Find My Gnome is a convenient feature built into every Sweet Tooth; GPS signals allow you to track Sweet Tooths registered to your family. Rest assured that you’ll be able to find your way out of (or into) any scary situation.

With iTricks, just hold your iOS device against a prospective haunt, choose your flavor, and play a scary tone. Getting into the season has never been easier. Pre-order your Sweet Tooth today, and prepare yourself for the Halloween 2.

Easter (Facebook)

We’re excited to announce the best Easter yet: Easter 2014. Whether you plan to tag your friends in a new album or tag along with them to a relaxing picnic, we’ve got you covered. Our new News Feed is the same News Feed that we’ve always had, but this one is even more complicated and works better at least half of the time! With only one or two sponsored posts, and your settings staying set for an entire day, you are sure to enjoy the social scene this Easter. We’ve decorated our site in a lovely spring blue, and we’ve complicated the security settings even more! Make sure to have your Instagram app open and ready to capture all of your friends for filing in our extensive government database. (Also, do you know this person? You have 17 mutual friends.)

Memorial Day (Twitter)

It’s one of those Federal holidays that the majority of people really don’t know why it exists, and we know that you’ll want to document every minute of it in 140 characters or less. We’ve made sure that we won’t get hacked again anytime soon, and tons of celebrities will be posting valuable tidbits about their personal lives, and others’ personal lives. And how they hate that everyone is prying into their personal lives. And flame wars when someone says something perceivably racist or sexist. Actually, on second thought, just follow Death Star PR or Emergency Kittens.

President’s Day (Tumblr) 

We know that the only names you’ll recognize are George Washington, Abraham Lincoln, Obama, and John F. Kennedy, so we’re just going to continue posting clever GIFs.Tumblr's Contrib

Thanksgiving (Digg) 

Be Thankful for that iPhone
How the pilgrims survived that journey without Angry Birds.

Cooking Big Bird
Is America’s Turkey Obsession Unhealthy?

You’re Awesome (*sponsored link*)
Click it so we can make some money.

Several Buildings Explode in Another Country
You’ll click on this link because the US is obsessed with violence.

The Mayflower Didn’t Exist
It’s all a conspiracy to get you to spend money.

Read more on Digg.com >>

Christmas (Google)

Because we’re the most benevolent and wonderful company in the world, we’ve decided to give you an awesome drawing of our logo. Make sure to like it and share it on Google+! We also have put our Google Glasses on sale! $1400 buys you a pair of glasses with which you can search anything in the world! Download our newest version of Google Maps, which gives the location of every publicly available fir tree that you can chop down for yourself! Happy Holidays!

Anyway, have a good weekend! 
~XK